How to stop wasting energy on Worry
First of all, what is worry? Worry is an emotional “looping” energy, when we over-focus on our desire – to the point that it becomes a demand. There is a difference between preference and demand.
For example, you can prefer to not get sick before your vacation. But if you do, it will not be the end of the world. It will be very unfortunate, very uncomfortable, but still not the end of the world… You can choose to do what you can to make sure you remain healthy for your travels (take vitamins, don’t go into large public areas, don’t visit sick people, etc.) but in the end if this is the cold is what you need to have in order to learn something, you will have that cold. So far, this is still a preference, and so there is no worry. You know what you want and you are proactive about it, but the rest is up to the Universe.
Or, you are afraid that your vacation might be ruined by getting sick prior to it, or on it, and you freak out about that possibility. You place a demand on the Universe that you must not get sick, or else… You have to be healthy for your vacation, nothing else can do. And getting sick means a total disaster, a failure, pain. In this example, the discomfort from not getting what you want has been raised to the level of emotional pain, creating a demand on life. Any time there is a demand, there will be worry as a side-effect!
Discomfort does NOT equal to pain.
Secondly, worry is a total waste of energy. When one worries, one burns its own energy for fuel, leaving less available for living. This is why when we worry, we are in the state of survival, not living! Have you noticed how exhausting it is to live in worry?
Of course the simplest worries are easily fixed: if you worry about something that is material and is under your control, then you need to go and deal with it (check that stove, search for that shipment, call that person). So, if you can do something to resolve the worry, do it and as soon as possible. But what about the irrational type of worry, when it seems to be not under our control, not up to us?
What to do if you find yourself irrationally worrying?
- Tune in and honestly investigate what are you demanding life to be and why?
- When you find what is the “worst case scenario” of your fears, tune into that allow yourself to explore it emotionally and mentally (i.e. what would actually happen if…? perhaps you will hurt if that happens; or be very sad for a while; or have to change your job, or a relationship with someone; or maybe you will have to become more independent, or the opposite – learn to receive support from others? etc.)
- By facing and dealing with your fears, you just diffused the power charge of these fears – so, look again at the original situation which caused your to worry, but this time with preference instead of demand (as in “I would like to keep this relationship, but if he/she leaves me, I will deal with it – I will cry and process my pain, and I will explore life alone for a while and then perhaps with another person again” or “I prefer to remain healthy and have this medical test show me that I am free of any dis-ease, but if it tells me that I do have a dis-ease, I will deal with it, I might have to be uncomfortable for a while, or have to change my life arrangement, but I will go through this and learn something about myself in the process”, etc.)
It is our responsibility to use the available energy appropriately. Worry is one of the biggest energy-wasters! When you find yourself stuck in the repetitive worry pattern, it is especially important to look at the causes of it – because these causes are indicators of a particular fear that you are not facing, i.e. that fear has your power – and you want to take the power back by dealing with it. Thus, no more worry.