Trying to Fit In?
Afraid of Rejection?
How to Stop Abandoning Yourself.
What if your fear of rejection isn’t actually about rejection?
What if the ache of being left out, misunderstood, or not chosen has less to do with them…
and everything to do with how you define safety?
Have you ever:
- Shrunk yourself just to be accepted?
- Felt like you couldn’t fully be YOU around certain people?
- Been terrified to speak your truth because it might get you excluded?
If so, this lesson is for you.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ The hidden spiritual root of the fear of abandonment
✅ Why seeking belonging in the wrong places drains your power
✅ The difference between horizontal and vertical safety
✅ How to stop contorting yourself to be accepted, and finally come home to YOU
✅ A new way to attract Soul-aligned people without sacrificing your authenticity
Let’s dive in.
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The Pain of Abandonment Isn’t Just Emotional — It’s Energetic
I just got off a session with a private client who was stuck in exactly this loop.
Terrified of being abandoned. Desperate to be included.
But at the root of it?
She was outsourcing her sense of safety to others—unknowingly placing her power in the hands of people who didn’t even resonate with her true self.
This happens when we live in what I call horizontal belonging.
It’s a tribal form of safety.
“I belong because they accept me.”
“I’m okay because I fit into this group.”
“If they approve of me, I must be good enough.”
And at first, it feels secure — until it doesn’t.
Because the moment that tribe shifts, or your opinion diverges, or you grow out of the resonance…
You’re no longer safe.
The Shift From Horizontal Belonging to Vertical Belonging
Here’s the truth your Soul already knows:
You are not safe because you got accepted.
You are safe because you are eternal.
That’s the core of vertical belonging — a deeper kind of safety rooted in your connection to Source, your Soul essence, and your place in the Universe.
When you live from vertical belonging:
- You stop needing others to mirror back your worth.
- You stop chasing acceptance in spaces that require you to be less than you are.
- You remember you belong to the Universe — and that can never be taken from you.
This doesn’t mean that rejection won’t hurt, but from this place, that energy of “rejection” doesn’t hurt the same. It just becomes information: a signal of misaligned frequency.
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What Happens When You
Abandon Yourself to Belong
Let’s take it further.
The fear of rejection often leads us to contort ourselves to fit.
We pretend. We filter. We perform.
Especially in childhood if your family system didn’t feel like a match to your Soul range.
You learned to adapt.
You became who you had to be, not who you were.
And maybe that helped you survive then…
But now? You’re not a child anymore.
Pretending and twisting yourself into a psychological pretzel to please others doesn’t feel good anymore — no matter how habitual that safety trap may be.
That’s because when you pretend to be what others want you to be, you abandon yourself. And that hurts more than anything else!
Even feeling unsafe is less painful than the ache of self-abandonment.
You don’t need to keep pretending.
You don’t need to abandon yourself to be “safe.”
Because the truth is, you’re only truly safe when you are fully yourself.
Your Soul isn’t here to blend in.
It’s here to broadcast — vibrationally, energetically, unmistakably — who you really are.
And that uniqueness is what magnetizes the right people to you.
You’re Not Meant to Fit In Everywhere
If your nervous system contracts at the thought of being disliked,
take a breath and ask yourself:
✨ Do I actually resonate with these people?
✨ Do I even want to belong here, or am I just afraid of being alone?
✨ What part of me believes I need to be less than I am to be loved?
Trying to “belong” in the wrong frequency band is like tuning your radio to static.
Nothing clicks. Everything feels off. All you’ve got is noise.
And the longer you try, the more misaligned you feel.
When you shift into vertical belonging, the world responds differently. You start attracting people who see you, support you, and celebrate your weird and wild brilliance.
Belonging Is Not the Same as Blending In
Many of you mistake true Soul-level belonging for simply “blending” into a community.
But when you start to let go of the blending, you discover something deeper:
You’re being asked to become a Sovereign Authority — to stand on your own, as a kingdom-of-one.
See, real community begins when sovereign individuals choose to walk together —
not when they merge identities into some kind of “blended smoothie” of homogenous agreement.
You don’t belong to any group.
You belong to you!
And through that inner belonging, you rediscover that you’ve always belonged to the Universe.
That is the very Sovereign Authority I mentioned — and it’s the only place your true safety can live.
It’s also the foundation of every empowered, joyful, Soul-aligned, and Spirit-led life.
BTW, if you are interested in the deeper explanation of the conceptual systems required to move out of survival and on into conscious, harmonious, brain pattens when you are “living with Spirit” – and the practical steps to get there – definitely read my book “Awakening the Harmony Within: How to Create with Spirit”.
Summary & Key Takeaways:
Let’s bring it all together:
✔️ Fear of abandonment stems from placing safety in external acceptance — horizontal belonging.
✔️ Vertical belonging means you’re safe because you are eternal and connected to the Universe.
✔️ Contorting yourself to be accepted leads to self-abandonment and energetic misalignment.
✔️ You attract aligned people by being your true self, not by trying to fit in.
✔️ Real safety and soul-aligned community begin when you belong to you.
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So What Happens Once You Fully Belong to You?
You stop chasing approval.
You stop trying to squeeze into roles, rooms, and relationships that don’t fit.
You start listening inward—and living outward—from your soul’s frequency.
But here’s the next piece of the puzzle:
👉 Once you stop outsourcing your safety…
You have to start claiming your power.
That means:
- Clarifying your Soul Vision (so you know what you’re here for)
- Rebuilding your inner Worth (so you stop dimming your light)
- Activating your Wealth Energetics (so abundance flows from alignment, not effort)
And that’s exactly what we do inside the Vision, Worth, & Wealth course.
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✨ Create a 2-year soul strategy plan that’s practical and energetically aligned
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Be Love. Be Free. Be God.